Season 21, Episode 176

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You know the drill. You're at church, the grocery store, or the local park and your child begins to misbehave. This is quickly followed by defiance or disregard for your attempts to stop the behavior. You feel helpless. What can you do in that moment to subside their behavior?

It’s not so much a matter of what you can do, but what you can say. Our words have power. We don’t have to tell you that your words have the power to escalate a behavioral situation because this has probably happened a time or two with your children. Yep….us too! Don’t beat yourself up. You’re not alone and you’re doing the best you can.

The good news is that our words also have the power to de-escalate behavioral situations with our children. When we know the right words to say, we can help our children re-regulate and return to calm quickly. That’s what we’re talking about in this week’s episode…

Here’s an overview of what we discuss…

  • Practice thinking first. It’s crucial for us as caregivers, that before we respond, we take a step back and think through the situation at hand.
  • Decide what outcome you want. Ask yourself, what do I hope happens later this evening, or tomorrow with my child. What do you envision the outcome of your response to them?
  • Ask yourself some crucial questions about your words. “Will my words hurt or harm?” “If I say what I’m thinking right now, what will the outcome be with my child?”
  • Ask yourself, ‘Will my words move us forward or hinder our forward motion?’ 
  • Ask yourself, ‘Will my words shame or connect?’
  • What tone will you use? Your tone can be the difference between behaviors escalating and helping your child return to a place of calm.
  • Create scripts. When you have the right words to say to your child, it can change everything.
  • Apologize when you get it wrong! When we seek our child’s forgiveness it teaches them how to seek other’s forgiveness.

Also on the show…

  • The Insight Virtual Conference is OPEN for registration! Click Here to save your spot. *SPACE IS LIMITED! 
  • Behavior Management Scripts! We’ve created a free resource that will help you find the right words to say to your child when he or she is misbehaving. Click Here to access now!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

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What Can I Say When My Child Misbehaves?

Season 21, Episode 176
You know the drill. You're at church, the grocery store, or the local park and your child begins to misbehave. This is quickly followed by defiance or disregard for your attempts to stop the behavior. You feel helpless. What can you do in that moment to subside their behavior?

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Share on facebook
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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.