4 Survival Tips For Staying Married To A Stay-At-Home-Mom!

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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After 14 years of being married to the same woman, I'm learning.

I wouldn’t say I’ve arrived, by any long stretch of the imagination, but I’m learning. If this were Mount Everest and I were on a climb, I could safely say I’ve long left base camp and the summit is in view. But I’ve yet to reach it. Again..I’m learning.

Some of you dads are learning too. Admit it. You’re still picking shrapnel out of your forehead for that flippant comment you made the other night when you arrived home from your “long day at work,” and she asked you to help with the kids, aren’t you?

I feel you. I’ve been there. Mushroom clouds are not a new thing above my home either.

You blurted out something you wished you could grab in mid-air as it floated into the atmosphere. In your lack of understanding of the circumstances surrounding a stay-at-home-mom’s world, you commented on the condition of your home. Oops!

If this is you, hang on. I’m here. As a fellow land-mind tripper, I can offer some tips to help you stay married to the same beautiful woman for the rest of your life (without her killing you in the process). I can do this with confidence because I’ve learned each one the hard way. They are tried and tested, I promise!

Here they are in no particular order…

Tip #1- Never, under any circumstances, complain that you’ve had a long day. 

Lets get one thing straight gentlemen- our worlds are difficult. That’s for sure. We’ve got meetings and conference calls, budget planning sessions, and the dreaded department reports. Our women would acknowledge this. They understand our jobs are tough at times. But our world has something that her world lacks a lot of- adult interaction. Each time I complain about the amount of ‘offsite’ meetings I’ve had in a given day, I’m reminded that her meetings have included cold coffee, burnt toast, Dora, a potty seat, and a 4-year old. There’s also actual crying over spilled milk on many occasions.

Tip #2Speaking of complaining, it’s not a good idea to complain about the slow service you experienced at your lunch meeting at Olive Garden earlier in the day.

This is the equivalent of pulling the pin on a hand grenade and rolling it into the middle of the room. You might as well turn around, head to the garage, grab a shovel, and start digging your own grave. While our Chicken Parmesan with Alfredo sauce might have been a little cold after waiting for a while, it’s the 5th time this week she’s dined exquisitely on Jif with a side of Welch’s.

Tip #3- Don’t ever, ever, ever ask her “what in the world she does all day long while you’re gone”!

There’s a great commercial, from several years ago, where a man arrives home from work and the house is a disaster. The dishes are piled up in the sink, children are running around dirty and half-clothed, and laundry is strewn about the house. The man looks at his wife and asks “What happened here?” She replies, “Remember the other day when you asked me what in the world I did all day around here? Well, today, I didn’t do it!” Classic!

The truth is, stay-at-home moms have the hardest job on the planet and they work harder than anyone else. Their job is the most important in the world as far as I’m concerned. It’s urban legend that they lounge on the sofa, eating bonbons and watching soaps all day.

Tip #4- Grab a cup of coffee on the drive home to wake yourself up, suck up the long day you’ve had, and choose to serve in anyway you can when you arrive home. 

Here’s what I know: the times I’ve done this, it’s made her feel honored and also made for a peaceful evening. The times I’ve failed to do this, and selfishly focused everything on the day I’ve had, she’s left feeling un-important and useless, and the evening is rough. I have to play catch up.  I’ve also learned an important truth about communication- when you serve her she’ll be more interested in hearing about the day you’ve had. It’s a two-way street.

They’re not the only tips in this world. There are plenty more where these came from. But I can honestly say, in-spite of the humorous approach I took with the first 3- they work!

Your marriage is healthier and your wife is happier. 🙂

Men (or woman): what other advice would you include? Leave a comment below…

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.