5 Reasons We Become Parents

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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Parenthood is one of life's journeys that challenges you, moves you, and makes you a better person. But there are a few paramount reasons parenting is so powerful and transformational to the world we live in!

To be honest, we had no plan when we began having children. Being adoptive parents, we didn’t even have a 9-month period to formulate a plan. It was more like 3 months, give or take a few weeks. After becoming foster parents, that shrunk to 3 hours, if we were lucky. As I reflect back on more than a decade of parenting, I simply marvel at the journey we’ve been on. It’s had it’s ups and downs and challenges that have nearly broken us, but all-in-all, it’s been amazing! Out of all the life choices we’ve made, becoming parents is in the top 5!

People choose to become parents for many different reasons. Some, because they’ve dreamed of doing so since they were a little girl or boy. Others, because they want to make the world a better place. Some, because they didn’t take precautions with the relationship they were in. And others do it spitefully to get back at an ex-spouse or a disgruntled family member.

Out of all the reasons people become parents, there are a few that stand out because they affect the very core of our being and impact the way we live life. Parenting with this intention has the power to ripple into future generations and change the course of history.

We become parents…

  1. To invest. Parenting is an opportunity to invest in the human race. It’s a chance to give back to a world that has given us so much. Plus, when we parent, we have the opportunity to invest in a new life. A life that, we hope, will go on to invest in other’s lives.
  2. To influence. As parents we are the greatest voice of influence in our child’s life. You may have a hard time believing that, depending on the stage you are in as a parent, but it’s true. Your son or daughter is taking life-cues from you. They are studying you, watching you, listening to you, to determine how to live. When they’re young, they follow you everywhere and believe you hung the moon if you tell them so. When they become teenagers, your influence drops in strength but it’s still present. Make no mistake about this. Culture and friendships become the greatest influencer from age 12 into their early 20’s, but you’re still on the list, even if it just doesn’t seem like it. That’s why I tell parents to not give up, even though it appears as though your child could care less about your opinions. The teenage years tend to be the times where they need you the most. By staying consistent and steady in your parenting you are influencing your child on a deeper level than you can imagine.
  3. To change the future. I believe that parents are future-shapers. When you choose to invest in your child, and be a strong influence in their life, you change the future. You make the world a better place to live, now, and for generations to come. In this world, we hear a lot about the hopelessness that exists. Turn on any news station and you’ll hear an abundance of darkness and despair. Everything from crime, to poverty, to natural disasters. It’s quite depressing. It leaves one believing there is no hope, nothing to believe in, and no way through the darkness. Enter the influence of a parent! When you choose to love, encourage, discipline, and lead your child through the storms of life, you change the future. The battle is long and hard, and seems un-ending. If you are raising a difficult teenager it really seems like there’s no end in sight. Hang in there. Your parenting is telling a story that will echo into eternity.
  4. To leave a legacy. It’s no secret that raising children continues your legacy as a human being. That’s a big reason people become parents. But parenting is also an opportunity to improve your legacy. I personally became a better person after I became a father because I no longer had just myself or my wife to think about in life. I was responsible for keeping another human being alive, one that could not fend for herself. Not only did I become responsible for keeping my children alive and well, but also raising them with integrity and character. These are traits that are taught, not caught. The legacy I leave through my children depends on the choice I make to live life with character and sound morals.
  5. To enrich our family. We love being parents. We love our family and we are so grateful for each of our children. Their unique personalities and spirits are so fun to watch. They enrich our family more than we can measure. In fact, there would be a huge void if they were not in the picture. You probably identify with that because you feel the same way about your children.

Let’s just call parenting what it is- awesome! It’s an amazing privilege we human beings receive in this life. Yes it’s difficult, and there are many more dark days than good days, at times, but overall, it’s an honor to lead and love little human beings who are filled with wonder. Never take your days as a parent for granted. Before you know it, you will be dropping that baby girl or boy off at college or sitting next to your spouse at his or her wedding.

The time we have with our children is very limited. Just the other day I was looking at a picture of my daughter as an infant playing with the infant daughter of our best friends. They are both teenagers now, best friends and all. Gone are the days where they played with Barbie Dolls or set up pretend kitchens. They talk about boys, who said what on Facebook, and where they dream of going to college. Even as I type those words I choke up. I don’t want to miss a moment. How about you?

What are some reasons you became a parent?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.