[Re-Post] 5 Reasons Why We’re Not Judging Other Parents.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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The other night I sat in a restaurant watching a mom deal with her 2 kids. I say "deal with" because that was literally what she was doing- dealing with their poor behavior. As she crunched her forehead with her hand I could tell it had been a long day.

She was stressed, her kids were unruly, and she looked like she wanted to quit on everything- the day, being a parent, and quite possibly, life. But, I was not judging her. Others around her glared, but I just watched and silently empathized.


A long time ago, in a not-so-far away galaxy, I would have judged her. Thirteen years ago, my wife and I would have sat in that restaurant glaring at her the way others did, and judged her to ourselves. We might have even made comments back and forth to one another like, “Someday, when I’m a parent, I will never allow my children to act like that,” as we drove home (just the two of us…adults…in our car…with no screaming kids around!)

We would have smugly thought we knew it all and that we could predict how our parenting venture would go, based on the so-called failures we saw in other parents. And then, we had kids of our own. Boy oh boy, let me tell you, we see things completely different today!

We will never judge another parent. We will never look down on someone who is in the greatest fight of their life. And, we have several reasons why:

1. We’re in the trenches with you.

We are right in the muck and mire of parenting. Our 6 youngest children are 13 years old and younger. It’s an every-day battle. And trust me- when school gets cancelled for an entire week, because of a so-called Polar Vortex, the battle shifts to a 3rd World War in the Berry household!

2. Our kids have embarrassed us in public too.

Both my wife and I have had to drag our kicking and screaming 6 year old out of Kroger because we weren’t giving in to his wants and demands. We have been thoroughly embarrassed in front of cashiers whom we see every week. We have been “that parent” before. Every time I see a parent wrestling their kid in a grocery store, or at the movie theater, or in a mall, I feel for them. Heck, most of the time, I even pray for them (and depending on the level of the parent’s frustration- I pray for the kid too! :-))

3. Parenting is hard.

In fact, it’s probably the top 1 or 2 hardest things you will attempt to do in life. Sometimes, it can mirror an 18-year prison sentence (and that’s if they move out after high school graduation!). It’s not easy being a parent! It’s a daily fight to keep your head above water. We understand. We know the trials and tribulations. We know how unbelievably defeating it is to have your children throw everything you’ve done for them back in your face. We know the pain of watching your kid make a deplorable choice. It’s not easy at all!

4. We have repeated ourselves 4 million times too!

Lets be honest- one of the biggest reasons you feel pushed over the edge in your parenting, is having to repeat yourself. When you’ve told your son 100 times in an hour to put his school bag on the hook where it belongs, you nearly lose it. When you’ve had to tell your daughter over and over and over to take a shower because she needs to bathe everyday, you want to gouge your eyeballs out. If there were an award given for the amount of times a parent had to repeat themselves in a day, I’m sure we would be one of the top 5 finalists.

5. You don’t need someone judging you.

You need someone who understands you! You need someone who can listen to your struggles as a parent and simply nod empathetically. You don’t need judgement for your failures. The world is full of that anyway- it’s called the magazine rack in the check out line at the grocery or the parenting book shelf at Barnes and Noble. The whole reason I created this blog was to let parents know “you’re NOT alone!”

We understand. We are right there with you. We know what it feels like to want to throw your hands up and quit. We know how defeating it is to have a case manager or doctor look at you judgmentally because you’re doing everything you can to take care of your child the best way you know how to. Hang in there! Listen only to the people who really have an investment in your life and ignore the haters. You’re not alone!

Have you felt judged as a parent? What has helped you work through that?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.