5 Things I’ve Learned From Becoming A New Father

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Good day everybody! I am currently away on vacation with my rockstar family. Until I return, I am mondo-excited to open up my blog to some fantastic guest bloggers! This is a post by Jeremy Zach who serves on the XP3 team for the ReThink group out of Atlanta, Georgia. He and his wife Mikaela of 6 years have a newborn daughter named Harlow. Make sure you follow him on Twitter and check out his blog here.

Becoming a new father is both a scary and satisfying adventure. And yes, ton of my friends, random cashiers at the grocery store and at target, my neighbors, the old ladies at church and work and relatives have all tried to prepare me for the momentous fatherhood adventure by giving me well-intentioned and meaningful advice. They’ve told me that raising kids can be very expensive and very difficult, they’ve advised me to take some time off work so I can spend quality time with my kid and they’ve even hinted that I’m in for a lot of late nights during the first few weeks of my child’s life. But they all ensured me it will all be worth it in the long run and my life will never be the same.

They were completely right. Their advice was legit. Becoming a dad is the best feeling in the world but there’s so much more they could be telling me. So I thought hey, I am going to be another random guy on the Internet blogging about what new dads need to REALLY know. So I have compiled a list of the top 5 new realities that nobody warned me about before becoming a new father. My goal is to somewhat inform you while entertaining and horrifying you, simultaneously, as I give you a preview into the next two years of your new dad life.

5.  Change a lot of diapers.

Poop and pee are your new best friends. As a new dad, the only useful thing you can do is change diapers. There’s really no other way for me to put it. Get use to changing a really liquidity poopy diaper at 2am and right when you are putting on the new diaper your new beloved baby pees all over you and the diaper changing station. If you don’t know how to change a diaper, click here to learn now!

4.  Time and tolerance. 

The most important thing you can do is simply spend time with your newborn. Some serious research indicates that new dads aren’t spending an adequate amount of time with their baby. New dads think mommy is the only one who needs to spend time with baby. Wrong!

Along with time, you need to have some serious tolerance for you and your new baby. I understand why so many new parents just want to shake their baby. I hate crying!! I know this sounds bad. But I would rather be pooped on then have to tolerate long, extended periods of crying. But it is essential you be patient with your new creation. Be kind and gentle. No shaking or swearing at your baby. In fact, studies have shown that parents who are responsive to their baby’s cries and needs help them develop better communication and language skills. This is your first time being a father and your son or daughter’s first time being a human being.

3.  Teamwork. 

There’s no “I” in team. You remember your football coach telling you that? Well this same principle can be translated into being a new dad. You and your bride are a tag-team. Figure out who’s on and off. Be attentive to your wife’s needs and where you can help with the baby. This may take some time and require a few late night fights, but clarify what roles you as the new dad can do.

2.  Make a lot of mistakes.

We are dads. The best way for us to learn is by trying out what works and doesn’t work. And yes our wives or mother-in-laws will tell us what to exactly do but we will forget something or do it wrong and this is okay. This is how us guys learn. We just got to get in there and figure it out for ourselves. For example, my wife went away for the weekend and it was just me and my new daughter. Yes I was so anxious I would not doing something right, but being alone with her for a few days taught me that I can be a great dad and meet her basic needs while still making a few mistakes along the way.

Did my daughter get enough to eat and sleep good while mommy was away?  Yes. Did I change my daughter’s clothes daily?  Um…no comment. Bottom line, having this weekend alone with my daughter boosted my confidence even though I made a few mistakes. Mistakes are good because you learn at a new level on how to take care of your baby.

1.  My wife is amazing.

Seriously I don’t know how my wife does it? How do they have this special superpower to comfort, understand and love their new baby? My wife is always right and knows exactly what to do at any given moment. I just cannot comprehend it. My prideful, new dad self wants to put up this front that I don’t need help from mom when my daughter is crying her lungs out as I try to hold her.  But the reality is, mom knows best so just embrace that reality.

Trust me, this will make things so much easier. Shut your mouth. There’s no need to justify why you left the baby wipes open and that you put the dirty pacifier in the mouth of your baby. Just acknowledge that your wife is amazing and tell her that daily and make sure to provide specific examples as to why she is amazing.

Anyways, hopefully this post about being a new dad was helpful. What new realities would you add to the list? What did I miss?

Sorry. I got to go. My daughter just woke up because she spit out her pacifier and she is starting to cry pretty intensively and I am 90% sure she has a poopy diaper……that needs changing by her DAD.

New dads…anything else you would add to this list?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.