Up to their elbows in dirty diapers, had it with kid’s demands, stressed over homework, frustrated from cleaning the house for the 100th time in a week…you name it! Dads, on our worst day at work, it still pales in comparison.
However, we’ve all been there…
Mom’s left the scene and we’re out in public or at home, flying solo with our kids, and things unravel quickly. The mice have discovered that when the cat’s away, they can play. And play they do- destructively! We quickly go into crisis mode, rushing for the store entrance or watching the clock intently, counting the seconds until bedtime. And then, when our lovely bride finally glides through the front door, the urge arises in us- launch a complaint! Tell her about all the “aweful” things our little demon-possessed children did while she was gone.
We’re forgetting one important thing though- she’s already been there. A lot. Everyday, in fact! We have nothing to complain about. We’ve just gotten a small taste of the awesomeness she experiences all the time.
Here are 6 things you never (and I mean, NEVER) complain to stay-at-home-moms about….
1. Your son went “pee pee” in the public potty 5 minutes ago and now says he has to go “poopy!”
You’ve pulled his pants up, dried his hands, and now you’re back to strolling through Lowes! The man-gauge is back to peak level and you’re ready to grunt like Tim “The Toolman” Taylor as you peruse the power saws. But suddenly your son tugs on your sleeve and says, as he holds his bottom, “I gotta go poopy daddy!” “SERIOUSLY?” you blurt out. “We were just in the bathroom!” And that’s the course of your Lowe’s experience. As frustrated as I get over this one, I have to remember, my wife usually never makes it through any store without this happening.
2. You have to wash, fold, and put away 5 loads of laundry, when she’s out of town.
A word of caution on this one- in a given week she’s done 105 loads of laundry (some of which is yours), and the frustration is boiling in the back of her mind like a dormant volcano ready to spew a chorus of molten ashes into the heavens above. If you complain about this while she’s standing near a blunt object, you may want to keep 9-1-1 saved in your favorites and your thumb on the “call” button.
3. You get woken up once or twice a week in the middle of the night by your children.
I’m convinced that, along with the natural compassion, giving spirit, self-sacrificing attitude, and warm heart that most moms are hard-wired with, that they also emit a “wake me up 73 times between the hours of midnight and 5 am” signal that can only be heard by children. I stopped complaining about this one a very long time ago. While the 2 or 3 instances a week that I’m awakened are frustrating…they do not hold a candle to the 3rd shift schedule my wife keeps!
4. You have to wipe your 4-year old’s bottom for him.
My wife has wiped bottoms, blown noses, cleaned up vomit, gotten pee on her hands, poop on her shoes, spit in her hair, spit-up on her new shirt, and blood on her jacket….hundreds, if not, thousands of times!
5. You have to help your children with their homework.
If they gave degrees to moms for the “extra work”they do in the arena of kid’s homework, my wife (and I bet yours too) would have her PhD in I’ve-Already-Been-Through-Third-Grade-But-Whatever-I-Totally-Want-To-Go-Back! She has long surpassed any doctor or professor in the amount of school work she has waded through in her 30 some years of existence.
6. You’re so busy and you just haven’t gotten enough “me” time!
When I think about the looks that I’ve gotten, and I’ve heard that many guys, who’ve blown this one, have gotten, I have to quote a favorite movie line of mine from the movie What Happens In Vegas- “If I could make someone dead with my mind, it would be you!”
Fellas, listen carefully to me- you and I get to do this magical thing that stay-at-home moms have come to believe is the equivalent of seeing a Sasquatch- have adult interaction and conversations during the course of a day. There have been times in the middle of the night when I swore I heard my wife say in her sleep, “I gotta go potty!”
Bottom line gentleman- don’t complain. Without our amazing wives, our homes would truly be in disarray.
Question- Dads, have you ever complained about these things (or others)? What was the outcome? Comment now!