A Long, Long Way From Silent Night

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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I've sung the hymn thousands of times over the years. I know the words backwards and forwards. I believe in the story the song tells with all of my heart. But around my house, with 6 children under the age of 12, there is no such thing as silence...ever!

I may feel this way because I’m not a fan of loud noises. Never have been. In fact, when I was a teenager, I would duck out of loud concerts because my head would begin to hurt. Totally not cool for a teenager to do, but I didn’t care. I figured it was best to be comfortable than be entertained.

Do I believe God knew what He was doing by blessing me with all of our children who have no peak on their volume dial- YES! He’s teaching me humility.

Case in point: a few mornings ago, it was a Saturday, it was actually quiet, I was downstairs reading, and doing my normal morning routine. When what did my sensitive ears did I hear, but the sound of the sub-flooring above my head rattling so hard I actually thought chunks of the ceiling were going to begin falling on my head.

My 5-year old son cannot get himself up and dressed without A) jumping as hard as he can out of his bed, and, B) running at full-speed from his room to my room and back to his room… in the morning…when everyone is asleep! He will strategically position himself 1 inch from my wife’s ear (as she sleeps) and ask her questions at the top of his lungs. Delightful!

Speaking of being a long way from silent night, there’s the saga of our nativity-


We lost the tote with our figurines and for some reason Mary, baby Jesus, and a single shepherd were placed in another tote that we did find. So in our version of the Biblical Christmas story, Mary is a single mom, Joseph is nowhere to be found, and a shepherd carrying a lamb over his shoulders keeps showing up to the manger….awkward! Bethlehem is a buzz with the gossip!

So the new song goes like this (to the tune of Silent Night)- “Silent night, awk-ward night. No one showed, except this one guy. Joseph’s gone, there’s no angels to note. Wish I would have just found the right tote. Sleep through an en-tire night, please? Sle-ep through an en-tire night..

We’ve got dogs traipsing through our house with muddy paws, over floors we just cleaned hours before company arrives, Christmas cards that we had to redo because we forgot (yes, FORGOT) one of our children’s names in the original prints. And lets not forget the headless snowman in the front yard!


Yesterday I think my kids actually had a contest going to see who could make the most noise for the longest period of time. They may have reached 3 hours. Being out of school for Christmas break is super-awesome! 

But here’s the truth- at the end of the day, when Kristin and I nearly collapse from complete and total exhaustion, I wouldn’t trade a thing. Last night I would have traded  nearly all of my kids right up until they went to bed. But in the quiet and calm of this early morning, my heart is full.

I can’t wait to see their little faces round the corner in a little bit. I can’t wait to say good morning and pull them up into my arms. Yes I’m sure that once those precious little faces start calling one another “stupid,” or  “poopy-head,” or yelling “shut up” at the top of their lungs, I will want to lock them in their rooms and throw the key into the neighbor’s yard. But for now…I’m at peace.

I think the reason peace eludes us in this season is that we allow it to. We think that everything has to be perfect during this holiday season when, in reality, it just won’t be. Regardless of the hours and hours of preparation and planning we put into Christmas, there’s going to be chaos and rush.

Regardless of how much I long for silence, the truth is, I have 6 young children living in my house- it’s not going to be quiet. Besides, isn’t it more important that they feel free to be children, than I have the silence I long for? Not saying it’s okay for my children to run around like wild animals, but I need to let them be…kids!

At the end of the day, I realize that I need to embrace the chaos of the season. We all do. It’s not going to be perfect. Even though we cannot see it, memories are being made. It may be hard to see, but they are.

I gotta wrap this post up. Joseph and the wise men are missing, another strand of Christmas lights just went out, and I think my dog just scaled the fence and is chasing a rabbit and barking loudly in the neighbors yard at 6 am! Yep, silent night alright.

Are you experiencing a less-than silent night during this Christmas season?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.