A Start Up Guide For First-Time Mothers.

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This is a guest post by Aby League. She is a researcher with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biology and a contributing writer for Elite Daily. Check out her blog here and make sure you connect with her through Facebook and Twitter.

After nine months of being one with your baby, be prepared for another task: taking care of your baby. Caring for yourself with your baby inside of you is very different from taking care of a child as a separate individual. Your child will establish his/her individuality by going against you pretty early in their life (crying, fussiness, not sleeping, etc.). First time parents find it difficult to understand their babies because they do not know how to communicate. That’s just a fact!

Sounds discouraging doesn’t it? You’re probably thinking, “Well, how do I figure out how to parent this tiny little human?” It’s actually not that hard, believe it or not. It begins by applying some very simple, yet important, guidelines to help you, and your new child, achieve maximum health:

Let Go of Singularity.

In adjusting for parenthood, you have to condition yourself that your baby needs you all the time and asks for your full commitment. You have to let go of your regular night out with friends and spend nights taking care of your child. It’s time to grow up! You simply can’t make a mistake and get grounded for it anymore, like you did when you were a teenager.

Don’t Panic Over Anything and Everything.

Children, especially newborn babies, have no idea how to communicate with you. Don’t panic though. It’ll take some patience on your part. You must learn to interpret which cries need your immediate attention and what actions you need to take. It’s helpful to get advice from seasoned parents on how to deal with your newborn and how to deal with toddlers who are throwing constant tantrums. Seasoned parents have been through the ringer more than once…remember that!

Establish Ground Rules.

Children, at an early age, should be aware of certain rules that must be followed in different settings. Cover the basics and get your children involved in writing them down. Go for positive reinforcements like “Place your toys inside the toy chest after use,” instead of “Don’t leave your toys on the floor!” The rules should be more of a “to-do” list than a list of restrictions.

Discipline Your Children.

There are many different discipline strategies to choose from. A natural consequence is letting nature take its course and allowing your child to learn from it. A logical consequence is setting up a consequence when your child misbehaves. Withholding privileges when your child misbehaves is a restriction like reduced television time or restricted play outside. And Time-out is simply giving your child time to cool off and reflect on his/her behavior. All good discipline strategies. You just have to choose the method that works best for your personal situation.

Handle Tantrums.

A toddler’s behavior may be hard to control, especially when they reach full meltdown. The key is to avoid it. One sure way of dealing with toddler tantrums is to bring the toddler to the nearest commercial playground. A child’s happy place is having a little time on the playground. This is beneficial in dealing with toddler tantrums. Distract the child with playtime in the playground to curb a tantrum. You also form deep bonds with your children as you approve the playground equipment they choose.

To Err is Human.

Keep in mind that your child is one young soul and they are still learning. Avoid punishing every single misdeed. Sometimes they may not intend to misbehave, or certain circumstances have pushed them to that point. On the other hand, it’s not bad to praise the good deeds you see them do.

Bonding Time.

Quality time with your children will greatly reduce aggressive, troubled, or negative emotional behavior. Sometimes throwing a tantrum is their way of getting attention. Spending time with each other will improve the communication between parents and children.

Get Your Husband Involved.

Remember, you didn’t bring your child into this world alone. You have a husband who can help you with your child. Instead of neglecting your husband, get him involved in actively raising your child.

Have Some “Me” Time.

Last but not least, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Ask your husband or someone in the family to take care of your child so you can have a break. New moms are overly attached to their new babies but it would not hurt to have at least an hour for yourself.

Remember, every child is different from one another and these tips are simply guidelines. They might not be applicable for all children. Make sure to keep a healthy relationship not only with your child but with the whole family.

New or seasoned parents- what else would you add to this list?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.