Are You Your Child’s Security Device?

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This is a guest post by Emily Harper. She is a mother, a blogger, a member of her community watch, and the owner of the blog, Security Ocean. She loves writing about her experience and expertise. You can visit her blog by clicking here.

Sorry guys, my parents said no.”

This happened not once, not twice, but consistently until I finally reached the age of 18. I hated my parents for their overprotective state of mind, seeing the world as if it were zombie land. It was as if the only thing left for them to do was install video surveillance cameras in my purse or at home just to monitor my movements 24/7.

When my parents finally let me travel and go out with my friends, even without their permission, I suddenly longed for their constant calls and messages asking me where I was. I longed for their attention. Now that I am months away from having my third child, I am scared to see myself become too strict and scared for my child’s safety.

Read the signs.

As a parent do you constantly keep an eye on your child, asking where he is and who he is with? Do you restrict your child from taking the bus because of the rise of crime nowadays? If your answer to all the questions above is yes, then you are a certified overprotective parent. Parents tend to become protective of their child when their safety is on the line.

As early as being pregnant, I find myself being overprotective of my child. Children should understand that we are acting instinctively and tend to be irrational when it comes down to their safety.

But, parents should not be ashamed of being protective because their children’s security should be their top priority. As such, home security systems are made available to keep the children in and the bad guys out of the house.

However, when your security concern goes overboard and turns you into a monster mom, then maybe it’s time to stop, breathe, and weigh the case at hand. You were once a kid and faced that situation where your parents stopped you from doing the things you wanted, right? I know I did.

Cut your child some slack.

Though we deem our parenting actions as a means of strengthening the security of our children, too much of it is detrimental to your relationship with your child. At times, our actions may seem heroic to our children especially when it comes to bullying kids at playground and school, but have you ever considered letting your child handle things on his or her own two feet?

If not, you are hindering them from managing tough decisions crucial to their growth while increasing their risk of losing self-confidence and overdependence upon their parents.

In addition, overprotective parenting also causes children to become afraid of taking risks or risk-averse. Being risk-averse means one cannot distinguish danger from curiosity. For risk-averse parents, everything could kill. With this fear present, children cannot enjoy their childhood of discovering and trying new things, which is crucial to early childhood development.

This fear transforms a childhood filled with lessons learned from the playground to a playground that is dangerous. In short, you just killed your child’s childhood.

Know when to let go.

As responsible parents, we are their first teachers and it is our duty to guide them toward decision-making skills, among others. Let your child explore the world. And by world I mean the house, the school and the playground. Even when traveling with kids, you might be very cautious, but giving her this freedom builds trust between your relationships.

In his little world of fun and games, hone his decision-making skills and let him decide on small things, like what to eat for breakfast or when to walk his dog. Always listen to what your child has to say and support him in the things that he wants to try. Let go of your child and let him live, although this would take a long time, starting is a big leap toward good parenting.

Pretty soon, I’ll have my third baby and I won’t be ashamed if I am overprotective. By nature’s rule of thumb, my child’s safety will become my main priority. One thing that every expectant mother and every mother should remember is- too much of anything can kill. So, keep everything in moderation- be protective and not overprotective.

Parents, do you have trouble releasing your children into the world? What has kept you from doing this?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.