Hilarious Things Our Kids Say

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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I have to admit- my kids are some of the funniest people on the planet.

I know, I know, “Everyone says that about their kids Mike! Everybody’s kids are hilarious,” you say. I get that. I really do. But my kids are truly hilarious.

The other day, my wife and I were out on a date when she noticed a Facebook post from our 21-year old that said, “After a half an hour of my little sisters lecturing me on relationships, they finally say, ‘There’s 2 things we’re good at: eating cookies and kicking butt. And we’re alll out of cookies!'”


Just this past Saturday morning my 5-year old son walked into the kitchen and asked me, “Dad, is it a school day?” “No,” I replied. “Okay good,” he continued. “I’m going to stay in my PJ’s. And I’m talking, all…day…long!” (in a Matthew Mcconaughey-like voice).

So funny!

One day, while I was sitting in our family room reading a book, my 10-year old daughter walked up to me and said, in a Scottish accent, “Tell me daddy, if you had the chance to change your destiny, would ya?” And then she turned and left the room, not saying another word. I sat there for a minute wondering if I had really just experienced that. Later, to my relief, I found out that it was a line she had heard from the movie trailer for Disney/Pixar’s Brave (2012).

Here’s another example: One time my wife called over to a babysitter’s house to check on our 3-year old son. The sitter put him on the phone and when my wife asked him how he was doing he said, “I gotta go mom, I’m about to do something awesome!” And then, he hung up on her.


Our kids say (and do) some of the funniest things. Even though I can get so mad at them sometimes for their bad behavior, or poor choices, I smile bigger than anything when I think of their creative, funny personalities.

Knowing that I’m not the only one with hilarious kids, I decided to put it out on Facebook and Twitter to see who else had some funny stories to share. Here are some that I received back:

“My daughter Lizzie asked, ‘What’s wrong daddy?’ I replied, ‘Oh honey, daddy has a headache. Not feeling so well!’ She then said, ‘And your breath stinks daddy!'”  -Tim from Ohio.

“When Elizabeth was 4 years old, I told her to find her shoes she had left in the bathroom. Of course, she couldn’t find them and came back to tell me this. We were in a hurry and I gave her very helpful instructions (that I’m sure were told to me at some point in my life): I said, ‘Elizabeth, OPEN YOUR EYES and find your shoes.’ Five minutes later, she let me know just how ‘Helpful’ those instructions were when I walked by the bathroom and saw her literally opening her eyes wide with her fingers. If I wasn’t sure what she was doing, she let me know- ‘See Mommy, I’m opening my eyes really far and I still can’t find my shoes!'” -Kresta from Ohio.

“When my oldest daughter lost her first tooth she came out of the bathroom crying, ‘I’m brushing my teeth and they are still falling out!'” -Duane from Indiana

“‘I’m sad God made me brown, I wanted to be green.'” -Rebecca (who’s daughter is bi-racial) from Ohio.

And by far my favorite:

“‘Mommy shouldn’t watch The Avengers because The Hulk has REALLY BIG NIPPLES!'” -Keith from Indiana.

Kids say the funniest things! I bet yours do to. It’s one of the greatest joys of being a parent, and, it’s worth celebrating!

Keep the conversation going and share some of the funniest things your kids have said or done.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.