How To Empower Your Children To Grieve

Author of 4 books, podcaster, parent trainer, wife and mother.

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Perhaps this post is timely given the current, and rapid moving, changes our children are navigating through right now. The fact is, our children carry a lot of loss with them. How do we empower them to grieve this?

Our children often hesitate to show and share emotion because they have not had a safe place to do that in the past. They may keep hard parts of their story from us because they are afraid we will think less of them, that we will think less of their first family, or that we will not be able to handle the knowledge of the sad things.

Our children often try to protect us by not showing their grief. Grief cannot be healed unless we first acknowledge that it exists. So…

  1. Model healthy expressions of grief. Everyone will experience loss and disappointment in life, when you do, allow your child to see you process it in a healthy way.
  2. Give space for grief. When your child grieves allow them to have space to do so. They will feel all types of emotions in connection with their loss. All emotions are valid. Giving your children space to work through each emotion and feeling will help them in the future to address feelings of loss and grief.
  3. Identify triggers. These emotions may be triggered by unrelated things such as the move to a new house or a certain time of year, a smell, sound, sight or taste. Helping your child know the triggers and were they come from will be a tool that will empower them to handle feelings of grief in the future
  4. Teach coping skills. Teaching your child tools to use in moments of intense feeling will help them to cope in the future in all types of situations. For example, kids can draw pictures, write in a diary, learn new ways to describe their feelings, find mementos that have special meaning for them, participate in ceremonies that commemorate the loss, and so on.

I hope these 4 points above can help you navigate the grief your child is experiencing over his or her past, as well as everything they have lost now in our present state of being. Our company, and our team, are holding you up in these uncertain times, and cheering for you every day.

Be at peace.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.