I Don’t Want To Be A Good Dad.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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As I look back over my adult life I realize something- I've never been one for making New Year's resolutions. I'm not against them, they're just not something I've ever given any attention to. Over the past few years, however, I've begun establishing personal and professional goals. This post is one of my personal goals in 2014:

I don’t want to be a “good” dad in 2014. I want to be a great one!

The thought occurred to me this past week when I had a lot of free time to spend time with my kids. It was a good Christmas break, but as always, there were distractions. I did a pretty good job of staying away from “work” stuff, but it still lingered. I was decent at paying attention to my kids, but the corner of my eye was continually occupied by something.

In this New Year, I don’t want to settle for mediocrity any longer. I want this year to count for my family and our life together. I want us to arrive at the end of this year and look back with full hearts. I want to be able to say that my greatest focus, my highest priority, my biggest concern, were the 8 people who call me dad, and husband. Therefore, “good,” is not going to be “good” enough. I want it to be great! 

Over the holiday break I attended and participated in the life-celebration of a young man who passed away long before his time. The service was beautiful- a perfect mixture of celebration, truth, and remembrance. I listened as his mom, sister, and friends shared stories from his life. They talked about his smile, the way he loved others unconditionally, and his loyalty as a friend, a brother, and a son.

I couldn’t help but picture my children, my family, and my life as their words spilled from the podium.

The thought occurred to me- My children know that I help people. As a pastor, they know that my job is to pray for the needs of others, serve the world around me with all of my heart, and be there when people are in need. I have even heard them make comments to my wife about how my job is to help people.

Someday, when my life is over, I hope that my kids can stand before people and tell how their dad was a great pastor, friend, and leader. I hope they can say, from an honest heart, that I served people, led people, loved people, and was there for any and all who were in need. But what about them? Was I there for them? Did I lead them? Did they feel loved above all? What about me as their father? Will they say I was great at that? Or just good in comparison?

My hope and my prayer is that I choose to be great as a father in this brand new year. My heart is to serve people, all people, but the first people I should be a servant to is my family… my wife… my children. If I’m not serving and loving them first, nothing else really matters.

I don’t want to just be “good” as a father and a husband. Good is not good enough any longer. I’ve been good at it for too long. It’s time to be great. It won’t be easy. I can already feel the pressure rising up. This is not a choice that I can make at the beginning of the year, but everyday during the year and beyond.

Here’s to 2014. By God’s grace only, may it be a year of greatness!

In what ways have you been “good” for too long? What do you need to choose to be “great” at in the new year?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.