I Suck At This Parenting Gig

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This is a guest post by Genevieve West who is a blogger and author. She describes herself as a wine-drinking, coffee-chugging, and domestically-challenged relationship consultant. She's the author of "It's Your Fault You're Single: Why You Are You Own Worst Enemy In Love". She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband Eric, and their three daughters. You can follow her on Twitter and check out her blog by clicking here.

Once my coffee is ready, we all plop in front of the tv with the pop tarts I’ve tossed at the kiddos until I’ve had at least two cups of coffee. However, since this time is always interrupted with, “I need help wiping!” Or “I need more milk!” Or “She took the toy I was playing with!” I hardly ever get to enjoy my coffee while it’s hot, extending our wake-up routine until 2pm some days.

The rest of the day is spent simply surviving. I attempt to catch up on writing, correspondence, and phone appointments as my spawn tear apart my house, demand food periodically, and fight over toys.

Before evening rolls around, I’m eyeing the bottle of wine and wondering if it’s too early for a glass.

… Or three.

Today, with three kids pulling me in three different directions, I crawled back into bed and drew the blankets up over my head, hoping they wouldn’t find me. But find me they did.

As challenging as I find the mundane duties of motherhood, and as insane as my children regularly make me, I would never choose to give up this stay-at-home-mom gig. There’s no one else I’d rather have kiss my kids’ skinned knees, or teach them to count, or keep them from killing themselves in the variety of creative ways that they come up with. While it’s not possible for every family, adjusting our budget and lifestyle so that I can stay at home is a “sacrifice” my husband and I are happy to make, for the trade off of having these little ones home with me, hearing every word, and watching my every move.

I wish it didn’t completely drain me of emotional energy to keep up with the mountain range of laundry that’s taken up residence in the basement, or the collection of science experiments that are living in the dirty dishes that have taken over the sink and the surrounding areas, but I want my kids to see my imperfections. Certainly not as something to aspire to, but so they can see me as a human being, just like they are.

My kids see me ruin dinner.

They see me lose my temper.

They’ve seen me go through spiritual deserts where I’m unable to pray.

They know that some days I don’t get a shower until after dinner.

They know that mommy and daddy aren’t perfect. And they know that Jesus was perfect so that we don’t have to be.

That’s when we get to tell them that we suck at this parenting gig, because we’re fallen creatures living in a fallen world. But that they have a perfect Daddy who will never disappoint them, when their hearts are set on His will.

They have a perfect Daddy who is so loving and trustworthy that He set aside His glory, came to earth, took their punishment that they rightly deserved, killed death for them, and then sent His Spirit to be with, empower, and comfort them until He comes back to wipe away every tear, and to be with them forever.

“We’re not perfect, and I’m so thankful to have a God who is.” -Evie West, 12

Our kids know that their earthly parents deserve to suffer and die and spend an eternity apart from God. We are descendants of Adam, who followed Satan, making us children of wrath.

But because of who God is and what He’s done through Christ, we are now beloved children of God, able to love, forgive, and obey. If I pretended to have all my crap together, I’d be robbing my kids of discipleship opportunities to point them to Christ.

Kaylie, 4: “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

Me: “You’re forgiven, baby.”

Kaylie: “Because Jesus died for me?”

So our kids know that we suck. But they also know that through Christ, we are totally forgiven, and more than conquerors. Our kids also know that they’re deserving of death. But that through Christ they are also totally forgiven.

I figure that’s the best gift I could possibly give them, even if I’m not Suzy Homemaker!

Feeling like a failure at this parenting gig? In what ways are you overcoming or still trying to figure everything out?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.