“Is There Anyone Out There Who Understands The Foster And Adoptive Journey?”

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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Over the past year or so, we've received hundreds of emails from people who have the same heart cry- "Is there anyone out there who understands....who won't judge....who can walk with me?"

I could feel her emotions through each word she typed in her email to me. She explained how she had adopted, with a full heart, a sibling group of 3 from foster care 7 years earlier. Everything seemed normal with both of them. The little girl, only 2 years old, was loving, and kind, and the oldest boy, while a bit rough and tumble, was starting to look like a leader among his siblings at only 6. The middle child, also a boy, was quiet, and introspective, but nothing concerned this loving mother too much. She went through with their adoption and they had found a forever home.

And then suddenly, as if someone turned a light switch on, everything changed. When her oldest son reached 13, he began to act out in very aggressive and dangerous ways. She began to feel like a prisoner in her own home and his behavior was traumatizing his younger two siblings. Her daughter began wetting herself during the day at school, and just about every night while she slept. She would melt down at the slightest thing. Her middle son began drawing pictures of death, and extreme violence, and wouldn’t talk to anyone. He would talk about dying and wanting to kill people at only 10. She was in a crisis.

While she sought out the help her children needed (and an eventual diagnosis of FASD for her oldest son), she herself fell into a deep state of isolation and despair. She was lonely. She was exhausted. She was regretting her decision to adopt. She needed help. The last line of her email said it all…. “Is there anyone out there who can just, walk with me. Listen to me? Mentor me? Could I just get on the phone and talk to you for a minute?

I’m willing to bet, you have had those isolating feelings at one time or another too. Maybe it hasn’t been as bad as this mother’s experience, or maybe it’s been worse. Whatever the case, you’ve felt like a prisoner. You’ve longed for a mentor, a friend, or just another person in this trench, to walk with you, pour into you, and help you. After all, it’s what we all need, whether we are a foster and adoptive parent or not.

I did end up getting on a video conference call with her over Zoom a few weeks after she sent me that email. We talked for an hour. I encouraged her and helped her as best I could. My heart broke in two for her and her precious children. Lord knows, we’ve been in the same place with our oldest son as she was with hers. Later on, after I had ended the call with her, I began to think- Foster and adoptive parents need this. We need mentors. We need someone we can reach out to just to talk, or in a moment of crisis. 

Wouldn’t it be amazing to reach out over email and find a person who could mentor you, walk with you on this journey, and support you when you needed it the most?

If you’ve thought this a time or two, like I have, there’s good news. We just opened up enrollment for our brand new support and resource site, Oasis Community. It is the answer to that mother’s question and so many like it! Finally there is something in the online space that provides in-depth resources, connection to others on the journey, and the support and mentorship you and I need on this journey! We do this several ways…

  1. Real-time support with people just like you. Oasis has a team of people who are committed to supporting and mentoring you when you need it the most. They are available to connect with you over online chat, or through video conferencing.
  2. Monthly video resources with world-renowned experts. Imagine you could sit at the feet of experts in trauma, FASDs, healthy attachment and bonding, and learn from them. That’s what our video resources provide.
  3. Connection to others on the journey. Through our community forum, we provide an exclusive place where you can pose questions, get feedback, and interact with others on the same journey as you.
  4. On-going resources that are applicable to the issues and struggles we face. We’ve included a robust resource page that we are adding content to every single day. The resources help to equip you but also encourage you as you work to love and lead your children.

Bottom line is this: you don’t have to live in isolation anymore. Oasis Community is the answer to your biggest questions on this journey. And, it’s available now. If you’ve been asking the same question as this mother did of me over email a while back, then join Oasis today. I have to warn you though- because our desire for Oasis Community is to make it a tight-knit community of like-minded people, enrollment won’t be open for long. We’re closing everything down THIS Saturday, November 18th at 11:59pm

Do you need support? Need a mentor on the journey? Have a question about Oasis? Or just want to share some thoughts? Leave us a comment in the comment section below.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.