“My Mom Never Taught Me To Love My Body.”

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I'm excited to share this guest post by Katie Trotter with you. Katie is a wife and mother, residing in Michigan. She also works as a project coordinator for Michigan Health Information Alliance. You can connect with her on Facebook here.

In a world where physical beauty tends to trump the beauty of strong character, unwavering values and servanthood, our daughter’s futures will be molded by what we teach and model for them.

As a graduate of the social work program, I have a tendency to have a Facebook newsfeed filled with ‘woman-empowerment’ related articles.  Over the past couple of months, I began to notice more and more articles written by moms trying to teach their girls to ‘love their bodies’. The wording varied, but it seemed to be a movement around showing pride over the natural body, appreciating different sizes and shapes, and building confidence.

I got sucked in.

I began to watch my 5 year old closely and soon began to worry if I was doing enough to strengthen her self-image. I caught myself imagining conversations down the road about eating disorders, appropriate clothing, and treating your body with respect. It wasn’t long after that I became convinced there should have been a better screening process for who was allowed to birth and raise little girls.

A month later I found myself staring out the window at my parent’s house as I continued to worry about teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’. Maybe I should compliment her more about being kind to distract her. Maybe I should do more to teach her that everyone is beautiful in their own way. Maybe I should….let my parent’s raise her until she’s older.

And that’s when it hit me.

My mom never taught me to love my body. My mom never taught me to appreciate different shapes and sizes of or that there was beauty in getting old.

She was too busy.

She was too busy teaching me how to cook as I’d spend hours sitting on the kitchen counter with my heels banging against the cupboards.

She was too busy praying with us about being thankful and blessed.

She was too busy thinking about the families from the school that she worked with as a parent advocate.

She was too busy teaching me how to think of others.

Maybe she forgot. Or maybe she was so busy being thankful and serving others that she didn’t think of it.

I never remember watching my mom spend time getting ready in front of a mirror (in fact, I don’t remember us owning a full-length mirror until we were older) or agonizing over an outfit. We never went for manicures as a ‘pick-me-up’ or a way to feel pretty.

As I was watching out the window I began to realize that I was too busy worrying that I was missing it. I was missing the lake and watching the wind bend the trees. I was missing my healthy daughter swinging from the neighbor’s high rope (wait…is that too high?) squealing with delight. I was missing being thankful.

Not long after, we were driving on our camping trip out west and I turned to see my daughter riding with her head out the window feeling the wind in her face. She turned to look at me and said ‘I’m thankful that God made so many amazing views for us to look at, mom. He must have really known what we’d like.”

I hope she keeps being too busy. Too busy looking out windows and being thankful. Too busy serving others. Too busy enjoying time with family and friends.

Do I hope she loves her body? I guess. Even more though, I hope that she is so busy living life that she doesn’t really notice.

Which brings it all back to me. Perhaps instead of teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’ I’ll just keep teaching her to look out, to be thankful, and to serve others.

Mothers of daughters, we’d love to hear from you? What are you teaching your daughters?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.