On The Darkest Day, There Is Hope!

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
In our parenting life, we've had more dark days than days of light. The amount of times we've felt like giving up and laying down are simply uncountable.

If I decided to talk about the amount of times we’ve ever felt isolated or as if no one else on this earth struggles the way we struggle through parenthood, I’d have to create a separate blog post.

What we’ve learned is this- that’s just life. And, more importantly, that’s parenting! I know that sounds kind of gloomy and disheartening but that’s the reality of this journey. As I reflect back on the past 11 years of our personal parenting journey I can confidently say we have had many dark days, and it’s true- they’ve outnumbered the days of light in many ways. But, we have had many days of light as well. It’s a roller-coaster ride.

There is no class in college to walk you through this. Carrying around a sack of flower dressed as a baby in high school, with your class partner in health class, doesn’t get the job done either. (I guess in today’s schools they have actual doll babies that cry and soil their diapers- students are so spoiled! :-))

Nothing prepares you for the dark days of parenthood. Think about it- when you met that special someone who would later become your husband or wife, you didn’t sit around in the student center on your college campus, skipping out on studying for that huge exam, and dream about the day when your future son would punch another kid on the playground, or wind up back in the principal’s office for the 20th time in a month. You didn’t gaze into one another’s “perfect” eyes and fantasize about raising the child who would eventually have such severe behavior issues that they would have to attend a separate school for behavior specialization.

And I’m betting there wasn’t much thought given to how you would handle a difficult child who would eventually push you and push you and push you until you wanted to quit, feeling as though you would never make any breakthrough with them.

That’s just not real life. But, here you are. Stuck in the middle of a life that you didn’t expect to be living. Maybe it’s crossed over from parenting to your marriage. Perhaps you are sitting in your quiet home right now, alone, broken, and wondering if you and your husband or wife will last another day together. The dark cloud of doubt, disillusionment, or hopelessness has seemingly positioned itself over your family and it does not appear to be moving on anytime soon. Maybe your children are so unbelievably rotten, hateful, and disobedient that you are ready to pack your bags and walk away forever!

Can I just say to you- I know. I’ve been there. We’ve been where you are. We’ve felt (almost) everything you’re feeling. We’ve had the same thoughts. We’ve wanted to give up. But here’s 2 things I want you to know-

There is hope! And…

You’re not alone!

On our darkest days, we didn’t spring up with a shout of joy and declare this. In fact, we have been known to lay in our ditch for a while before realizing the hope we have. And even though I say that “you’re not alone,” it’s even hard for us to believe when all hell is breaking loose in our home. I know what you’re thinking right now as you just read those 2 bold statements above- “Yeah right, easy for you to say Mike! You don’t know my situation.”

You would be right. I don’t. But I know there is someone who does. Someone who loves you. Someone who would drop everything to sit next to you and grieve. My belief as a Christ-follower is that our Heavenly Father knows the darkness we live through, and He offers the ultimate hope.

The reality of life is this- everyday is a new day, with a new promise. Now, what I’ve discovered is that many of those “new” days can go right down the crapper real fast. Also a fact of life- :-). But, we keep moving forward. We place our hope in the next day, and the day after that. Sometimes it’s a step by step process and that’s the best we can do.

If nothing else, I hope this post can be a ray of light through your darkness. Perhaps it can be a small voice whispering to your heart, simply saying, “You’re not alone. I’ve been there. There is hope. I know what you’re going through!”

Do you feel alone? Do you feel hopeless? What’s your story? How are you finding your way through the darkness?

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.