On The Darkest Days, There Is Hope!

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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On our adoptive and foster parenting journey, we've had lots of dark days. Sometimes many more than days of light. The amount of times we've felt like giving up and laying down are simply uncountable. But we've found unending hope...

“Your son has FASD!”


“This hearing is continued. And we’re reinstating visitations.”


“Hi, I’m your son’s principal. Just wanted you to know that he’s in the office again for punching another student and cussing out the teacher.”


“Ma’am, we caught your daughter stealing again. We have no choice but to press charges.”


On and on it goes.

There is no class in college, or book you can read, to walk you through this. To give you a plan. To help you figure this out.

Nothing prepares you for the dark days of this journey. Think about it- when you met that special someone, who would later become your spouse, you didn’t sit around in the student center on your college campus, skipping out on studying for that huge exam, and dream about the day when your future son would punch another kid on the playground, or find himself back in the principal’s office for the 20th time in a month. You didn’t gaze into one another’s “perfect” eyes and fantasize about raising the child who would eventually have such severe behavior issues that they would have to attend a separate school for behavior specialization.

And I’m betting there wasn’t much thought given to how you would handle a difficult child who would eventually push you and push you and push you until you wanted to quit, feeling as though you would never make any breakthrough with them.

That’s just not real life. But, here you are. Stuck in the middle of a life that you didn’t expect to be living. Maybe it’s crossed over from parenting to your marriage. Perhaps you are sitting in your quiet home right now, alone, broken, and wondering if you and your spouse will last another day together. The dark cloud of doubt, disillusionment, or hopelessness has positioned itself over your family and it doesn’t look to be moving on anytime soon. Maybe your child is so unbelievably aggressive, hateful, defiant, or disobedient that you can’t imagine how you’ll survive another day!

You know full-well that’s the voice of trauma speaking out of your child but you struggle to not see them as just a bad kid. You love them deeply, but you’re tired. So….u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-y…..tired.

Can I just say to you- I know. I’ve been there. We’ve been where you are. We’ve felt (almost) everything you’re feeling. We’ve had the same thoughts. We’ve wanted to give up. But in the middle of this storm, here me. Read this carefully…

There is hope! And…

You’re not alone!

On those dark days, we don’t spring up and shout this with jubilee. No way. In fact, we have been known to lay in our ditch of emotions, wallowing for a while (okay a looooong while) before realizing that we have hope. And even though I say “you’re not alone,” it’s even hard to believe when all hell is breaking loose in my home. You may even be shaking your head and whispering, “Yeah, but you don’t know my situation. You don’t know how hard this is with my kid!”

So….how is there hope? I’ll tell you.

Me. That’s right me. And Kristin. And my friend Andrew. And Karen. And Johnie. And Megan. And Ryan. And Megan. And Michelle. And Mark. And hundreds of thousands of others just like you. We get you. We ARE you. And we are right there in this trench with you. When your case manager calls you and gives you some really really frustrating news…we get it. When you’ve just spent 5 or 6 hours restraining your child because they walked in your door after school and something triggered them….we understand.

When you’ve waited and waited and waited for a real hug, or a genuine “I love you,” or that long long awaited healthy bond….we celebrate with you.

There’s is hope because you are NOT alone. You just aren’t. And your child is not a hopeless case. They are not defined by a disorder, or a failure, or past trauma. They are precious and beautiful and full of hope and a future.

You see, everyday is a new day, with a new promise. We keep moving forward, even on the dark days. We place our hope in the next day, and the day after that. Sometimes it’s a step by step process and that’s the best we can do. Weary foster or adoptive parent….lift your head up, and let your heart be filled…..

You are NOT alone….and there IS hope!

Do you feel alone? Do you feel hopeless? What’s your story? How are you finding your way through the darkness?

Already listed as a #1 New Release in Adoption & Special Needs Parenting on Amazon, Mike Berry’s brand new book, Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent, is now available! When you order your copy, you get access to over $400 in free bonus content, including 2 video series, downloadable PDF guides, a ton of colorful images to share, and much more! Visit confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com/book to order your copy today!

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.