The Best Thing I Can Do For Her Broken Heart.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Sometimes, as a parent, I want to jump in and give my kids advice when things are going wrong. I bet some of you understand this feeling. But, lately, I've discovered there's a better solution...

She gets into my car after a long day at school. “Long” because she had to serve a detention for excessive tardiness. She sighs as she buckles her seatbelt and places her school bag beneath her feet.

“How was your day today?” I ask her cheerfully. I haven’t had the pleasure of spending an entire day moving from bland classroom to bland classroom like she has. “Not good,” she replies with a long face.

“Uh-oh! What happened?” This is my usual response because, on most days, she launches into a story about how one of her teachers became annoyed with her continual talking in class, or silliness in the cafeteria, or disorganization throughout the class time. Usually the conversation ends with me scolding her for her behavior and siding with the teacher.

But not on this day. This day it’s different. Her face tells the story. Kids were mean. It was unwarranted. She wants to crawl under her covers and forget this day happened.

“It was Evan again,” she tells me. “He’s such a jerk!” I gently pat her knee as she tells the whole story. Not only was Evan a jerk but he rounded up others to join in the ‘fun.’ Fun at my daughter’s expense.

As a father, and a former bullied kid growing up, my blood boils. My fleshly father’s heart wants to turn the car around, hunt Evan down like the cowardly weasel that he is, and threaten his life, or at best, tie him upside down a half an inch above an ant hill with maple syrup dripping from his little punk head, and leave him there.

But then reality draws me back in and I realize this would not be wise. I would probably lose my job and serve time in jail where an inmate named Carl would beat the tar out of me for my antics against a 6th grader. Not good. I return my focus to my broken-hearted daughter.

The church leader part of me wants to begin giving her advice. Do this, say this, go talk to this school official about this. It’s all spinning in my mind. Since I spend so much time with teenagers and families who face the same thing on a regular basis, my knee-jerk reaction is usually to advise. After all, that’s why they show up at my office- they’re looking for a solution. They’re looking for answers. I’m tempted to do this with my kid, but something inside me holds my tongue. She’s not looking for advice, I realize.

She’s looking for her father. She wants to be heard.

After a little while, when the conversation tapers off, I ask, “What can I do to help you feel better sweetie?” She says nothing for a while but then softly asks, “If we pass a McDonalds could you buy me a strawberry milkshake?”

“Absolutely!” I reply. And I mean it. I would never just buy things for my kids because they ask but this day is different. She’s broken-hearted. She just wants to run away and hide. But on this day, God above chose to put her with me in my car, right after all hell broke lose for her. And He chose to keep my mouth shut and my ears and heart open.

The best thing I do for her broken heart is listen, and love, and give. Sure, I’m going to find a way to talk to the school about Evan the idiot, but that can wait. Today, right now, in this moment, at this place, my entire focus is on my baby girl and her hurting spirit.

Daddy’s here. Daddy loves you. Daddy believes in you!

Parents, have you been there before with your kids? Share your story with us.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.