The Story Isn’t Over For Your Child.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
If you've wondered this as you've battled your child for days upon days, or found yourself so frustrated you could scream, you're not alone. But there's a truth you need to know.

I know you. I see you. I am you.

I know what’s going through your mind on any given day. I know what you whisper as you recover from an 8-hour battle with your kid, or walk out of an IEP meeting defeated because there’s no sign of progress. Trust me. I know. If you looked at an X-ray of my heart it wouldn’t look like the perfectly formed plastic model you’d see on the corner of a doctor’s desk. It’s been broken so many times over my child, it’s deformed and morphed, like lava flow into ocean waters morphing into new land.

“Is this it?” you wonder, in the murky midnight hour, as you stare at your ceiling fan spinning endlessly. “Is this the best it’s gonna get for him?” You try to figure out where you went wrong, or what you could have done differently in the beginning. “Maybe I should have learned about trauma earlier?” “Maybe I’m making it worse?” “Will this be my child’s entire life?” “Will our circumstance ever change?” “Will she ever stop hoarding food?” “Will his behavior ever be better?” You beat yourself up, you wrestle away resentful thoughts, and then you punish yourself for giving in and allowing them to flood your mind, like a breached levy. You love your kid…no question…but find yourself constantly battling the voice that whispers, over and over, prompting you to believe…it’s over.

Absolutely No Mistakes.

Oh, how we’ve been there. I’ve wondered if this is the best it’s gonna get as I’ve picked up broken pieces of plates, or keep-sake Christmas ornaments, after an all-out tantrum. I’ve walked out of IEP meetings, hearing no progress, and no hope, and wondered, “Is the story over?” I’ve been to the darkest places possible in my mind, and heart. I’ve all but given up on a few occasions.

But here’s something I believe…

I don’t believe that any human being is a mistake…ever. I think there are some humans in this world who’ve lose their way (clearly), and choose to live opposite of their great purpose (definitely), but no human life is a mistake. And even though I’ve been to those dark places in thought and spirit over some of my children’s choices, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that their life has purpose and meaning. They have a future, and hope. It’s just hard to see through the tantrums, battles, and constant challenges.

But, it’s not over…

The Story Isn’t Over.

Not even close. There’s still time on the clock. It may feel like the bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, and no one on base, but listen to me….it’s not over. Regardless of where they are on the journey, or how out of control they are, or how much they push you away, or how impulsive they are, or how disrespectful or defiant they are, it’s not over. I believe this to the deepest depths of my heart.

Want to know how and why? Because I’m living it as we speak. Sister, your situation is my situation. Brother, your painful, unexpected journey, is my painful, unexpected journey. You say, “But my kid was so out of control she couldn’t live in our home anymore,” and I say, “Me too!” You breeze down the list of “Yeah, buts,” and I can too. “Yeah, but you don’t know what his birth mother did to him before he came to live with me!” Yes I do. “Yeah, but he’s been kicked out of school and he’s turned coaches, teachers, and therapists against me.” Smack dab in that trench.

I still say it’s not over. Why? Because our stories weren’t over when we were 9, or 11, or 15. Lord Almighty am I ever thankful for that truth. My story wasn’t even close to ending when I was 15. It’s still not over at 40. Neither is your child’s. You can’t determine your child’s future based on their current 8-year old (or 5-year old, or 15-year old) behavior. There’s hope for every human being. Even if they’ve been broken by trauma experienced before birth, or early on in their life. Even if their attachment is severe from multiple foster homes before you.

You can’t determine your child’s future based on their current 8-year old behavior.

I believe the words of Jeremiah 1:5 over my kids…. “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

Translation? There’s a future and hope for everyone of our children. Truth! The story isn’t over.

Have you struggled to see the bigger story with your children? Share with us in the comment section below.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.