Have you ever found yourself frustrated with your child’s case-manager? Sometimes it can seem like we are on totally different planets from case-managers when it comes to the many decisions being made about children in our care. What are they thinking? Where are they coming from?
This week, we welcome our good friend, Megan Stroup, Founder and Director of Helen’s House in Marian, Indiana, which specializes in supervised visitations and case management. Before founding Helen’s House, Megan worked in the Department of Child Services for 11 years. Megan is also an adoptee and mom of three. Megan shares with us today about her own experiences as a case manager.* In listening to and understanding another’s perspective, we can all learn to build more positive, healthy relationships with those involved in our children’s lives.
Listen To The Episode.
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Notes and Quotes from The Show.
“We, foster parents, {can tend to} see things one-sided…we tend to see case-managers as the bad guy…but case managers see both sides of this.”
“I am just a person, I don’t have a supernatural talent.”
Some of the hardest things about being a case manager:
- Feeling unsupported by my team
- “My role was often questioned – from BOTH sides.”
- The relationship building aspect can’t be “codified” on paper
- “The work you do can’t be measured, because there isn’t a measure for it.”
- Having your integrity questioned.
- “All of us are trying to do the best we can.”
- We have hard things going on in our personal lives too that families don’t know about
- “Remember that your case manager is a flesh and blood human being.”
Some of the best things about being a case manager:
- The relational aspect with foster parents
- “Because they cared about me (and I cared about them), they wanted me to succeed and knew a relationship with me was a positive thing and they could teach me things I didn’t know yet.”
- Adoption hearings
Some Stuff I Learned:
- We need to find space for grace and to believe the best about each other
- Balance and boundaries are important
- We need connections with each other
Resources and Links.
If you want to hear more from Megan Stroup, check out becoming a member of Oasis, (our support and resource site for foster and adoptive parents) where you can find daily support, monthly encouragements, and online training including a two full-length interviews with Megan about how you can build healthy relationships with birth families. Also you can find Megan on Facebook at Helen’s House.
*Disclaimer: This is just Megan’s experience. There are issues with any large governmental agency and she is not speaking negatively of her agency, in particular. Her raw honesty is an attempt to help foster and adoptive parents understand and learn to work with case-managers in a positive way.
[reminder]Do you have any questions, key take-aways, or additional thoughts? Share them with us in the comment section below.[/reminder]
