You and I can read a thousand self-help books, attend conferences and seminars on becoming a better parent, and we can even watch Dr. Phil or Oprah until our brains are soaked with information. There is nothing wrong with any of this. Honestly speaking, we can find some help and coping through each.
But I’ve personally discovered there is nothing more powerful, nor healing, than discovering that you’re not alone. Other parents struggle just like you. Another mom has struggled with a lack of affection for her son. Another dad loses his temper and yells at his daughter. Been there, done that, and I’m still alive!
That’s why Alcoholics Anonymous, or any other support and recovery group, are such powerful tool for helping people through their addictions. You walk in an addict with no chance, and you walk out discovering hope and that you are not alone in your battle.
Same with parenting. When you discover there are others in this un-ending battle with you, you find hope…
…A mom sitting next to you rolls up her sleeves and reveals the bruises up and down her arms that her son left in a fit of rage. Through tears she explains that she can’t take it anymore. You’ve been there…
…A dad in your neighborhood is at a loss because he discovered that his son is looking at pornograhic images on his iPod touch. He wrestles with wanting to smash the iPod with a hammer or firmly and constructively walk with his son to a healthy place. You’ve had those feelings…
…A mom has battled and battled and battled with her son’s school over his special needs, and requesting extra help for him, to no avail. It seems as though they’ve turned a deaf ear. You’ve been that frustrated…
…After 3 miscarriages, the couple that used to be full of life when they talked about raising a family, looks beaten down and defeated. Slowly, they’re becoming jaded with not only having children, but with each other and the life they share. You’ve felt that desperate and hopeless…
When you see other parents limp through life the same way you are limping, you gain the hope you need to go from a crawl, to a limp, to walking again. We have personally discovered this in our lives. We have lived through the humiliation of our child’s violent outbursts in public, the trauma it caused our other children, and the fallout with other people.
We have stood by helplessly, while our child rejected us and chased after superficial relationships. We have felt the deep sting of a child who, because of the difficult background he came from, could not emotionally connect with us on any level for years.
These moments hurt deeply. They still do in a lot of ways. What saved us, and gave us hope, was the discovery that other parents have dealt with, and were currently dealing with, the same struggle. We are not alone!
The goal for this blog is to let parents world wide know that very truth- “You are not alone! The wounds are healing! We limp the same!” It was never designed to be a “how-to” when it comes to parenting. The world is full of that and it’s not wrong at all. There are great books and conferences on parenting techniques and philosophy. But, in the difficult journey of parenting we need to hear some real life. We need to experience community. This blog exists to be an “I know, I’ve been there!” when it comes to parenting.
The wounds are healing, and you are not alone. If nothing else, may you hear that and may it ring in your ears throughout this day.
Have you struggled to grasp this lately? What are you struggling with? We would love to hear from you.
