Why Do We Wait Until Valentine’s Day?

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Yesterday morning I was at Kroger early, picking up some groceries, when I noticed a string of men picking up bouquets of flowers and chocolates for, what I'm assuming was, their significant others. It was 5 o'clock in the morning. Nothing like getting ahead, I thought to myself. As I left the store, the thought occurred to me- "Why do we wait until this day to express our love for one another?"

My wife and I have never gotten into Valentine’s Day. At least not in the buying one another gifts, or a dozen red roses, sort of way. We’ve gone out on dates and hit up some fancy restaurants over the years, but nothing too elaborate.

In fact, one of our greatest bonding moments as a couple, when we had just begun dating, was to engage in a battle with a fellow college student over the absurdity of making one day out of the year, Valentine’s Day, the day to show affection to someone special in our lives.

We stood together. Our approach was simple: don’t wait until one day out of the year to express your affection for one another. Do it all year long! We were such typical college students, always looking for a cause to jump on and rant about… 🙂

However, we still hold to this (with much less rant, and more logical thinking) in many regards, 16 years later.

Here’s a big question: Why do we spend 364 days out of the year racing through life, sprinting to the next appointment on our schedule, throwing fast food at our kids as we speed to their after-school activities, and waving to one another like ships passing in the night, until this one day, Valentine’s Day, when we intentionally set aside time to be with, and purchase gifts for, the people we love?

When I walked out of the store yesterday, this hit me personally? I promise I wasn’t being critical of others or even cynical toward the holiday itself. I took a moment to ask myself this question. I found more fingers pointing back at me than fingers pointing at anyone else.

If I’ve committed my life to love and hold this human being, shouldn’t I show my affection and commitment to her all year long instead of just one day? Shouldn’t I pour my life out to the people I’ve promised to love forever the other 364 days of the year?

I have nothing against Valentine’s Day and I am certainly not criticizing anyone who buys chocolates or flowers for their significant other on this day. I’m just questioning our intentions (mine more than anyone), the other days of the year. If I’m going to be intentionally affectionate and loving on one day, shouldn’t I be intentionally loving and affectionate all the others? I need to do a better job at this personally.

This is a call for all of us to choose love all year long. Love the ones in your life- your wife, your husband, your children- deeply and wholly and unconditionally everyday you are blessed to have with them. By all means, make a reservation at a restaurant or buy flowers for your love on Valentine’s Day. But surprise them on another, more random day, with the same display of affection and appreciation as well.

Wake up early on Valentine’s Day and clean the kitchen or make breakfast, for sure! That’s pretty awesome and shows a great deal of servanthood. But do this other days during the year as well. Choose to serve your husband or wife like this all year long.

What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to hear from you.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.