Season 21, Episode 173

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This week we're kicking off a brand new 5-part podcast series called "Help! I Need Answers." During this series we'll be unpacking and answering some of the biggest questions (and struggles) parents have. This week....rejection!

If you’ve spent more than a couple of days on this journey, you know rejection is par for the course. Regardless of how hard you try to connect, build trust, reach out, or meet needs, your child rejects you. It can be soul crushing, and just plain exhausting. You’re left feeling like a failure.

But you aren’t. In fact, there’s way more going on with your child than meets the eye. We know that behavior is a window into past trauma. Rejection is a by-product of this.

In this episode we break down these truths….

  1. It’s NOT about you! Hard pill to swallow (we know!). But the fact is, your child’s rejection is not about you. It’s about them. More than that, it’s about everything they went through before coming into your care. Their rejection is the voice of their past trauma. It’s not about you.
  2. Knowing that it’s not about you, you must begin moving from victim to confident caregiver. When you are equipped with the reality of your child’s trauma history, you can stand up, love, and lead your child with confidence and peace of mind.
  3. Their wall is protection. Fact is, they don’t push you away to push YOU away. Rejection is the way your child has learned to survive. It’s their weapon of defense against being rejected first (which many of our kids have gone through)
  4. When we feel rejected, we often resort to rejecting others. Keep this in mind. The old saying goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.” This applies here. If your child has faced his or her fair share of rejection, chances are, they are using rejection as their weapon of defense.
  5. Vulnerability is dangerous. It’s dangerous for ANY human being, but especially a human being who has been deeply wounded by past trauma.

Knowing all of this helps you to become the best parent possible because you now know how to respond to your child’s rejection with grace and compassion.

Also on the show….

  • Insight VIRTUAL Conference 2021 is coming April 29th and 30th and WE CAN’T WAIT. We will be joined by world-class pros like Deborah Gray, Dr. Ira Chasnoff, Jamie Finn, Ligia Cushman, Brooke Randolph, Lisa Qualls, Melissa Corkum and more! We haven’t opened up registration yet but you will want to be on the update list for 2 reasons: 1) you will automatically be entered to win some of our amazing giveaways and bonus content when you register early. Click Here to get on the list!
  • Get our BRAND NEW practical guide on understanding trauma today! We just released a video guide and worksheet entitled Trauma Knowledge 101 and it helps parents gain a simple understanding of how trauma has changed the brain and how they can learn to respond to their children in a way that builds trust and connection. It’s 100% FREE. Click Here to get access!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

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Why Does My Child Reject Me?

Season 21, Episode 173
This week we're kicking off a brand new 5-part podcast series called "Help! I Need Answers." During this series we'll be unpacking and answering some of the biggest questions (and struggles) parents have. This week....rejection!

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Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.