5 Things I Never Thought I’d Do As A Parent.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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Remember the first time you dreamed of getting married? For girls it was early on, most likely around their 5th or 6th birthday. A little girl would have the entire day mapped out- what her dress would look like, who would attend the wedding, what the groom's name would be, and on and on.

For boys, it was later. Closer to the end of high school or the beginning of college, when we finally stopped making fart-noises with our armpits, started showering daily, and took notice that the once-annoying little girl next door was all grown up and, well, kinda pretty!

Whenever it was, and however it was, we dreamed about that day. And not just getting married. We dreamed about being parents. We envisioned the children we would have after we got married- what they would look like, the sport they would play, the unique gifts God would bless them with, etc. etc.

Now in my adult years I look back on those days with a bit of a nostalgic feeling. Actually, who am I kidding? I look back on those days and laugh. While I wouldn’t trade one piece of my life today I have to honestly say, there are several things I never pictured myself doing, or saying, as an adult or a parent. If you would’ve asked me 15 years ago I would have violently shaken my head and proclaimed “no!”

But, that was then…this is now. I guess you could say I’ve changed? I’m not sure. In any case, here are 5 things I never thought I’d do as an parent:

1. Wipe another human being’s bottom.
You’re nodding right now, aren’t you? You’re nodding because you thought the same thing, didn’t you? Most likely it was during college when you were “living the dream,” eh? I’m not talking about changing your newborn’s diaper. I’m talking about your 3 or 4 year old asking you to wipe their bottom for them. The first time one of my children uttered the words, “Daddy, can you wipe me?” from the bathroom, I realized my life would never be the same!

2. Be years behind on sleep.
Remember when you were in high school and college and you could sleep for as long as you wanted, and virtually ignore every aspect of life, as you knew it, if you wanted to? Well, watch as those days sink to the ocean depths like the closing scenes of Titanic, my friend. If my calculations are correct, I’m at least 8…no wait…11 (that’s right, 11) years behind on sleep. My wife is double that. I’m actually hoping when I die that Jesus will let me sleep in the grave for a few years before He welcomes me into Heaven. I figure that’s the only shot I’ve got at catching up.

3. Make 45 trips to the grocery in one week’s time.
I’m convinced there are trolls living somewhere in our house that wait until we all go to bed before ravaging our pantry and refrigerator. It’s impossible that human beings could consume that much food. When I was growing up my dad used to joke that we needed to have a dairy cow in our backyard with a tube hooked up to our kitchen to provide constant milk. No joke dad…seriously, I’m not laughing.

4. Go back to 3rd grade every night.
This one applies more to my wife than me. And it’s a good thing too, because, I wasn’t that great in round 1 of 3rd grade. We marvel at the fact that educators these days have decided to prepare 2nd and 3rd graders for careers in astro-physics before their 8th birthday. Extremely helpful! Seriously, what ever happened to the simple 4X2 = 8? Now, they’re bringing homework home that requires them to divide things by baked goods! Newsflash- we already passed third grade!

5. Wear clothes that smell like dry pee.
Nothing says “I’m a professional who is ready to lead people” like a sweater that smells like roasted urine. If you’re in a season where your children wet the bed routinely, you can count on your clothes getting washed and dried with pee-soaked sheets and blankets. However, I never saw this one coming. It makes me want to sing a musical number…..really!

There you have it, at least for now- 5 things I never thought I’d do as an parent. I have plenty more that I’ll post for your amusement in the not-so-distant future, I promise. I’m sure you have your own as well. Take some time to share.

Comment now with some of your favorite parenting moments, thus far!

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.