Self-care for adoptive and foster parents. We’ve all heard about it. We have a feeling it might be important, but, honestly, who has time?
The truth is, parental self-care is a foundational part of being able to care for our children well. While we may feel like this is one thing we just can’t get around to, it is actually the one thing that can get everything else moving in a positive direction. Listen in as Mike interviews Carrie Blake, former foster parent, adoptive parent, mama of 7, whose journey towards self-care will inspire and motivate even the most “self-care challenged” among us.
Listen To The Episode.
Notes and Quotes from the Show.
“The road of adoption was a little fairy-tale-ish for me at the beginning.”
“The more our kids healed, the harder things were…we were creating a safe-space for our kids to be themselves but the impact on us was so big that there weren’t books that could equip us.”
“My natural bent and my own spiritual upbringing was: You serve others, you serve others, you serve others, and if you are serving others, then you are in the right place.”
“I found myself, a couple of years into adoption, 30-50 lbs. overweight, really tired, having not been to the doctor, wasn’t taking care of myself…we were living in chaos and I didn’t have a lot of control…everything was spread out super thin…I began to withdraw and isolate…I was so empty…”
Stuff Carrie Has Learned
- Realize this is a marathon and not a sprint. Train to be a marathon parent.
- Don’t make it too big, self-care is about all the little things throughout the day.
- You can’t continue to take care of your family if you don’t take care of yourself first.”
- We need to a mental switch of the scripts in our head:
- “I’m doing such a good job taking care of myself, that I can take care of my kids!”
- “Why is this bothering me? What can I do to help my kid with this? Is this a control issue? “
- Risk writing ideas down. It doesn’t mean you have to do them all, but what if you did some of them?
- Look at the rhythmic, un-changing things in your life and ask “Where in this is self-care able to be built in?”
- Self-care pieces need to fit your budget, personality, and family needs.
- Self-care is a process, make sure to have a community around you to support the process.
Saying to yourself, “Yeah, but, you don’t understand my situation?” Carrie encourages us that instead of focusing on how each unique situation looks, we can focus instead on the FOUNDATIONAL piece of taking care of yourself so you can take care of your children over the long-haul.
Resources and Links.
If you are an Oasis member, you can find Carrie’s Self-Care video, and the rest of the Hope Summit interviews available in our resource section. If you are not an Oasis member, be sure to watch for our fall open enrollment for membership.
[reminder]Have you struggled to take care of yourself on the foster and adoptive journey? Share your story with us or ask a question below.[/reminder]