Dear Adoptive Family: Celebrate Your Weirdness!

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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I used to be hung up on how weird our adoptive family was. But then, my heart changed, I stopped caring, and started celebrating our wonderful, glorious, weirdness.

For years I was dictated by what others thought of me. From my elementary days, through Jr. High and High School, into college, and even well into my adult years, this controlled much of my life. Just when I thought I was comfortable with who I was, or the direction I was moving, someone would look at me funny, or make an off-handed comment, and I would fold.

It was paralyzing. Worst of all, I allowed it to permeate the way I viewed my family, especially in public. As hard as it is to admit this, as an adoptive parent, there were many years when I struggled out in public, or places where my family was on display.

Our first three children were African-American. I struggled with looking different from them. It wasn’t a race thing, just a looks thing. As you can imagine, my wife and I got a lot of stares in public when we rolled around town with our three kids. I desperately wanted to not be consumed by this, but I was.

This was me up until 6 years ago. In 2009 my heart changed and so did my outlook. I can’t explain it except to say that the Lord above reached deep into my heart and transformed me by His grace.

Today, I adore how different our family is. You can’t deny that we are a weird family, if you know us- (if this is your first time visiting Confessions, check out our Story page here). Not only do we have 8 children, all of whom are adopted, but some of our children are of a different race, and the 8 total span from ages 5 to age 28. We drive a big 12-passenger van and this past May, we sold our comfortable 4,000 square foot suburban home and moved to a modest 1800 square foot farm house, on the opposite side of town, to save more money. And did I mention that we recently became grandparents?

That’s all extremely weird. Totally counter to our culture of comfort. We’ve had many people tell us so. We don’t care though. We just smile and celebrate how weird God has made us.


We live in a culture of same. It’s also a culture of copy. Did you know this? Everything is a copy of something else. Every trend is a spin off of a trend before it. There’s very little that’s original. That’s precisely why anytime someone comes up with something original or has an original, amazing talent, the world is blown away. We’re not used to original or weird. We’re conditioned to understand and accept what is the same, what is a copy of what was created before.

Not to knock biological families at all, but adoption is so unique and original. It’s the very definition of diverse, and diverse is beautiful. People may stare and you but it’s more out of wonder (and maybe a little bit of envy) than anything. If they’re staring out of judgement or snobbery (is that even a real word?), I recommend you pull out your phone, take a picture of them, point back at them and shake your head in disbelief. This always gets a great reaction and they usually stop pretty quick! 🙂


There are so many people in this world who wish they could be weird like you and be comfortable doing so. They’re inspired by you. Remember that. We have lost count of the folks who have told us this. It, in turn, inspires us to stay the course and never long for something different, or heaven forbid something “normal!”

Adoption is way more than simply blessing the life of a child who may have ended up in a dark situation. It’s about building a legacy that will last for eternity. That’s one of the most beautiful, and original, facets of adoption. You are single-handedly creating a diverse family tree that will impact the future world.

Even though adoption has received much airtime in recent years, it’s still not considered the norm. So people take notice when they see a multi-ethnic, multi-racial, multi-history family coming their way.

We love our weird, counter-culture family and all of the other weird stuff we are in to. But mostly, we love that we’ve been created to be completely ourselves. In a world that tends to be a carbon-copy of everything else, there’s much beauty found in an original of anything. So adoptive family, celebrate your weirdness and embrace how original you are!

Adoptive families, do you love your weirdness? Got a story to tell? Share it with us.

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.