“Dear Child: I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You!”

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Many adoptive parents are also the parents of biological children. But there is no difference, or degree, in the love they have for all of their children, adopted or bio. Here's why...

This is a guest post by our good friend, Natalie Brenner, who has also been a guest on our podcast, The Honestly Adoption Podcast. She is an adoptive and biological mother, as well as a blogger, and the author of the book This Undeserved Life. Make sure you check out her blog by clicking here.

“I just have to ask… do you love Sage as much as you love Ira? I mean, I know you say that you do…but I’m just so curious if it’s true.”

We sat on my living room floor when she asked me this. With a world of confidence and pride in my chest I was able to nod, and beam, and let her know that I absolutely love Sage as much as I love Ira.

I love them each as though I birthed them both…but I also love them as though I adopted them both. To me, it is the same unending mama love.

Our infant adoption journey infiltrated every piece of our attention. Sure, we still worked and focused on what was at hand, but our adoption journey infused every part of our lives and thoughts.

I was constantly day dreaming, praying, wondering, and breaking.

I had no idea if we would be adopting a boy, a girl, twins, or triplets, or a singleton. I didn’t know if we would become an interracial/transracial/multicultural family. We were licensed to be placed with a baby up to nine months old, so we were unsure if we would be meeting our future child at a hospital or somewhere else.

All we knew was that we loved our future child, whoever he or she would be, and giving birth to him had nothing to do with it.

All we knew was that we loved our future child, whoever he or she would be, and giving birth to him had nothing to do with it.

Selling our possessions, quitting our current job with unhealthy people, moving across the valley, taking out a loan, fundraising like mad, and filling out about thirteen pounds of paperwork… it felt so trivial and small compared to the cost of becoming a family for a baby.

And then 2015 passed into 2016 and through a series of miracles we landed in a hospital room meeting you and your birth mom. The woman who carried you, who loves you selflessly, whose blood courses through your veins. She sat on that bed holding you, her tears falling onto your perfect self as she fed you one last time.

The room’s air was thick as molasses as I walked to the bed, wading through immense joy and grief, all in one tragically, beautiful moment.

And then she placed you in my arms and I about melted all over the floor.

There is something sacred about her choosing us to be yours, something I don’t take for granted.

When I met you, you were over a day old and only about 5 pounds small. Your body was teeny and tiny, with a deep red flushed over your brown skin. Your eyes were swollen.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t carry you in my body, it didn’t matter that we didn’t share blood or DNA, all that mattered in those moments was the fierce knowledge that I would do anything for you. That I had been yours and you became mine and this reality came at a high cost, a cost I would never dare diminish or devalue.

My boy, you are so much more than “my adopted son.” I know I often share online about adoption but it’s because I’m so proud of being yours. It’s because there is no shame in your adoption and I believe if more people knew the truth of what adoption can be, they might step into it too.

My boy, you are so much more than ‘my adopted son.’

You made me mama, you taught me love, you hold my heart in ways no one else ever can. You are son of the Most High, you are His and He is yours. I pray I can model that He is enough, even on the darkest days.

You are bold and brave, spirited and sensitive. You have moved mountains in hearts and you’re not even two years old.

You are cherished and adored by many and your mere existence in this family is of a miracle, a mark of grace in brokenness.

Adoption is tragic, but my goodness adoption brought me you.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t love you before I knew you. Because that’s how it worked for me: I loved you something fierce far before I knew you.

And when I fist met you, in her arms, a silent promise left my heart and entered hers: I will love this boy to the end of myself, I will do anything for him, and in my mamahood to your son, I will honor you.

Have you walked a similar road in becoming a parent through adoption? We’d love to hear your story. Share with us in the comment section below this post.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.