Quantity Trumps Quality.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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It's something all of us are looking for- more time with our families. But we often focus heavily on the big moments. Maybe we are missing more than we think we are by doing this?

A few years ago I made a personal decision before I left on our annual family vacation to Florida: I would fast from social media, texting, and email for 2 straight weeks. Literally!

I wanted my time with my family to be as quality as it could be. Nothing would get in the way of this. And, trust me, it was quality time alright. I felt connected to my wife and my children in a way I hadn’t felt in some time. Sad, but true. This was such a critical move for me. It brought me such focus that I decided to institute it for myself on every vacation in the future.

But as soon as that vacation ended, I was back in work mode. Completely connected and more distracted than ever before. As the year trudged on, until the next Florida vacation, I had moments where the thought crossed my mind- “I can’t wait to get to vacation so I can unplug and have some good quality time with my family again.”

It would be so nice to have this, I pondered. But I was missing something. I’d become so hyper-focused on quality time (the vacation to Florida where I would unplug again), that I underestimated the quantity of time. You know… the smaller, more frequent times together, like riding in a car, hanging out in the backyard, or just being together as a family with no agenda or intention, can be.


Here’s what I’ve personally discovered in spending time together as a family- it’s not about quality, as much as it is about quantity. The amount of time we spend with our families supersedes the nature of the time we spend with our families.

Sure, quality time is important, and I’m not downplaying that at all. But if we are always looking for the next big quality time, like a vacation or event, with our families, we’ll miss the power in the smaller, more frequent, times with them.


What I’ve learned over the past few years is that small moments add up.

Last night my 13-year old wanted to ride along with me to the store. I was headed out for a few items and she asked if she could come along. There was really nothing special about a trip to the grocery store. It was fairly small in significance and she and I will both forget that we took that trip together in a few short weeks. But it was time spent. Just here and I.

There’s power in small moments like this. They add up. Subtly and quietly they communicate something to our children: “I’m here.” “I want to be with you, even if we’re doing nothing at all.”

This is what we miss if our sights are always set on the big moments. The challenge for us is to take advantage of the smaller moments. To see their great significance. They add up to something much bigger than we can imagine.


The more time we spend with our families, the deeper the quality will become. Something powerful happens when we spend an abundance of time with the ones we love. We develop a deep-seeded connection with them. The beauty of this is that when we have the big family vacations, they become more of a bonus than an end-all. They are way more fulfilling.

They act as almost an overflow of the abundant love that already exists.


It’s not easy, in the fast-paced world we live in, to take time out to spend with the ones we love, even if it seems a little less than significant. Never underestimate the power of this. It adds up to something much bigger, as I stated earlier.

For me personally, it’s quite a task, with the schedule I have, to grasp the power of everyday moments with my family. I tend to set my sights on the big quality times with them. But everyday is a gift. Every moment is a treasure. The more time I spend with my wife and children, the more quality my time with them will become!

Have you found this to be true in your own life? How are you making quantity time more important?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.