The Reasons Why “I Gotta Be So Rude!”

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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As the father of four girls, I have an expectation for any suitor who will one day desire to marry my girls. So when I heard Magic's song "Rude," I couldn't resist writing a response. If for nothing else, the song drives me crazy. But simply, the song is a gross display of disrespect and disregard by a young man who supposedly is too blinded by love to take "no" for an answer!

Dear Magic (aka- Nazri, Mark, Ben and Alex)-

I have to commend you. You start off on the right foot. You recognize that I’m old-fashioned and desire for any boy interested in my girl’s hand in marriage, to come to me respectfully and ask me first. Well done on that decision. Again…commended.

But your respect is conditional. That’s your first problem. When you received ‘no’ for an answer, most likely due to the fact that your arrogance, lousy attitude, and self-absorption preceded you, you launch into a series of questions instead of showing continual respect. You inquired as to why I am so “rude” and then, why I have failed to recognize your humanity.

Allow me to answer each.

While you consider my blunt response to be rude, it’s actually years of nurturing, love, and protection speaking. She’s my baby. She’s never stopped being that from the day she was born until now. Remember, I have wiped away buckets of tears, kissed thousands of boo boos, spent countless hours holding her when the world turned cold on her, and guided her through life’s ups and downs. You’ve been on the scene for all of a brief (and quite possibly fleeting) season of her life.

You know her simply because you’re infatuated with her. I’ll give you that one sir- she’s gorgeous. But her heart makes her this way, not her body, or the way she bats her eyes at you. Judging by your attitude, you’ve probably had many other girls do this to you.

I’m rude because you lack all respect for my wishes. Instead of taking no for an answer, and then working to win me over, you immediately launch into a war against me for my daughter’s affection. You may win a battle here or there, but I assure you- I will win the war! I’ve been fighting in this war since the moment she took her first breath.

As to your plea with me to recognize that you’re human: I certainly do. I care for all humans and believe they all are valuable and have meaning.

Your humanity, however, is overshadowed by your entitlement. You think that just because you are “in love” with my little girl, and that you believe your love is genuine, that I am automatically supposed to give in and let you whisk her away as your bride? Not the case my friend. You are no more entitled to my daughter’s heart and hand than I am entitled to time on the senate floor because I elected some of them to their positions. Again, you have missed the point! Instead of taking the answer I give, and working to win me over, you are driven to take what you believe is yours! For the sake of pure relationships, please go away….now!

Sorry son, but my reasons are my reasons, and these are the reasons I have to be, as you call it, rude! My answer’s not changing until your attitude does. From the looks of it, that will be a very long time!

Oh, and by the way, if you decide, as you not-so-eloquently put it in the song, to “marry that girl anyway,” please note a few important truths:

  1. My father (her grandfather) is an expert marksmen who keeps his home stocked with weapons which are loaded for bear all the time. He also lives on several acres of land in a rural part of Ohio. Perfect ground for hiding a body that may never be found if you ask me! 🙂
  2. Her brother-in-law (who respectfully came to her mother and I and asked for her sister’s hand in marriage) works in a juvenile corrections facility in the inner city. He knows how to deal with punk losers like you on any day of the week. Oh, and did I mention that her sister also has a permit to carry?
  3. All of my daughter’s uncles could be rounded up at a moment’s notice, to dress like ninjas, and join a vigilant cause such as rescuing their niece whom they all love. And none of them are opposed to jail time!
  4. My wife (her mother) drives a 12-passenger van that weighs in around 6500 lbs. While she continually drives this peacefully through the neighborhoods daily, she is not opposed to use this as a vehicle to hunt down losers. She is also not opposed to jail time. 

If you are feeling threatened right now, I can assure you- your feelings are accurate. Please do yourself, and your own health and well-being a favor and stay far away from my daughter! 

Her Loving Father

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.