The Stuff I Learned Through The Trials Of The Adoption Journey.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

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We are so blessed to have our friend, Lisa Qualls, from One Thankful Mom, here today to share with us some of the hardest parts of her story.  Hear what she has learned about finding Hope within the grief of losing a child, both as a birth mom and later as an adoptive mom.

Lisa has a unique and varied perspective as both a birth mom, a mom of many, and adoptive and foster mom.  She has suffered and learned through many years of parenting children from hard places, including having a child in residential care for a season and has also suffered the sudden loss of a child in a tragic accident. Listen in as Lisa shares with real, raw, honesty and offers empathetic understanding for anyone experiencing great suffering.

Listen Now…

Show Notes and Quotes…

“I never did get over it.”

“I was young but I loved him so much…I was intensely bonded with this baby.”

“I never would have dreamed I would become an adoptive mother because adoption had caused so much pain in our life.”

“God said, ‘No, no, you’re not going to stay there.  I’m going to redeem this in your life.'”

“Getting help is so hard and finding the right help is incredibly difficult.”

“We grieved the family we had been and realized we would never be again.”

“Never do you imagine losing a child…The first year we were in shock.”

“Everything we had always said we believed…this was it.  Either we really believed it or we didn’t.”

Stuff I Learned as a Birth Mom

  • When possible, try to be open-hearted.
  • (As adoptive parents), we have to live in the tension of loving and caring for the birth parents that our children love.

Stuff I Learned through the Grief of Losing a Child

  • Initially, the practical is what keeps you going.
  • Grief is so hard on your kids and your marriage.
  • You have to have faith in knowing that this life is not “it.”  We’re not there yet, but it takes faith.
  • You don’t have to figure out how you are going to get through all of it, but just through this moment.
  • Cling to the basics: “I am safe.  I am loved.”
  • Grief comes in waves.  The worst feeling will not last forever.

Resources and Links

Lisa Qualls has been married to Russ for thirty-three years and is a mom of 12 through both birth and adoption and sometimes foster-care.  She blogs over at One Thankful Mom, which is an amazing resource and encouragement you will want to check out!

What have you learned about finding Hope in great suffering and grief?

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Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.