Often, when you’re in the trenches of parenting children with major special needs, the most important relationship you have begins to suffer. How do you keep your marriage healthy in the midst of very difficult circumstances with your children?
*Editors Note- This is a guest post by Jessica Graham. She is a mother of three kids, all of whom have been adopted and two of whom have significant special needs. Her book Beautiful Paradox: Musings, Marvelings and Strategies of a Special Needs Parent is available on Amazon and is free September 15-16, 2016.
*Editor’s Note- This is a guest post by our good friend Lisa Qualls. She is a writer, speaker, mom of 12, and the creator of Thankful Moms, where she writes about motherhood, adoption, faith, and grief. Lisa is a mom by birth and adoption. Along with her husband Russ, their adoption journey has been marked by joy as well as challenges of trauma and attachment. You can visit her blog here, and connect with her on Facebook here.
It’s extremely challenging to raise children from difficult places, who often speak and behave out of their trauma. How do you keep from losing it when you’re pushed to the edge by your child on a daily basis?
As human beings we have a defense mechanism that we default to when our world is in chaos. It’s a safety net when our children, our marriage, or our family is out of control. However, it’s not healthy. There’s a better way to live.
We’ve often been asked how we made it through 9 years of foster parenting and 14 years as adoptive parents. Our answer is simple: We have a great support system of people who help keep us going. But how do you find a support system like this? “You’re going to be alright…this is going to be alright,” our friend said to us. “I know it feels like a dead-end street but there’s hope. I’m here for you!” She was right. More importantly, she was there. Those were two things we were certain of. In our darkest moment on the journey,
We’ve often said that we couldn’t have scripted our life any better than God has. We’re reminded of this every time we look at our children with special needs.
